Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

I’m not ready for the close up

I’m slowly coming to realize that me researching, finding, and booking a photographer means I will in fact have to have my picture taken.

This is probably rated a million on the scoville rating of terror for an introvert. (The pure capsaicin would be having to perform a song and dance while reading your poetry and doing a strip tease)

I was always really good at not smiling in pictures, ever (which seeing as how most people can hear my laugh about three miles before meeting me shows how much pictures are not me); and my fiance is notorious for doing a fake smile that I can always pick out.

Me practicing, mostly laughing thanks to Futurama
(Only another two months for the second movie!

 

So I’ve been trying to see if I can find a way to fake smile for real for all these horrors of wedding pictures. My first thought was to just stick pictures of everyone in the bridal party in their underwear all over the back of the church. Then I realized that I’d probably just have flashbacks to going dress shopping and I’ll huddle in the corner crying. 

Another thought was to pull the ol‘ (trying to get babies to look at the camera) and arming the photographer with a squeaky toy. But then we realized just how spoiled our dogs are already.

I thought about trying the advice from About: to lose 10 pounds in the camera, but I realized that since the camera adds 10 pounds, I’ll just come out equal so there’s no reason to twist myself into a pretzel to appease the camera gods.

All I can say is thank God I still have another 6 months or so, because at this rate I can either invent the camera that will capture your self image on film, or replace myself with a clone.

Either way, I will never really be photogenic.

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