Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

I didn’t kill anyone!

I am happy to say that the dress fitting thing went off without a hitch. I could actually fit into mine, it was the right color, and it was just as light and airy as I remembered. (My necklace however is too long and that’s why I only have one hand in the picture)

My taller flower girl was there trying on her dress as well. I think it is super cool. It’s got a really neat sheen to it, that reminds me of those car finishes that seem to have glitter trapped in them.

The surprising find of the day though was when my flower girl brought her future sister in law (and my magazine dumping ground) dress shopping and I was actually all excited about helping her find a dress.

I think a lot of it was the whole fact that it wasn’t me having to squeeze into dress after dress, I didn’t have to try to figure out if I could wear something for hours and hours, or if I could afford something for just one day.

Plus she just looked gorgeous in it. It was one of those, where she picked one at random off the rack and just tried it on and it fit like a glove. I’d love to show a picture and all but in the off chance her fiance is a major computer hacker and figures it out, here’s a close idea. Hers was an indigo and it was a different designer but they’re practically the same. (My tall flower girl also tried on a wedding dress that she’d had picked out for years, dress shopping is so much easier when you don’t have to wear one).

And as she’s looking into using silk flowers and loves blue I volunteered her all my flowers, so they might get a really good home too. Now I just have to think of some other stuff she could use . . . too bad the extra invitations aren’t good for anything.

Is anyone else donating a lot of their stuff, be it information or various props and things to another friends wedding?

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Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

The dress, part deux

I’m gonna admit a major secret right now.

Come closer, much closer.

My dress has been in for a good month but I still haven’t gone to see it.

Whew, now I feel so much better for typing that out. I’d been wanting to wait for my other girls dress to come in so we could go together and provide back up if we should have to fend off any demented needle wielding seamstress.

I also need some back up in just going to see this thing. Somehow through the years the white dress has just come to symbolize THE WEDDING. Anymore if you just want to show a wedding no matter how weird the place (forest/mountain top/cow pie full field) just have some slip of a girl in a big poufy white dress. It seems like it just isn’t a wedding without THE DRESS! (though personally if I could have swung it and wasn’t possibly going to have to deal with the misguided view that white=virginal I probably would have gotten a deep blue dress. Long live blue!)

A fashion maven I am not. I don’t really know what looks good on me, okay I do know nothing really looks good on me. I kinda freak out when I have to get dressed up and I look like none of the fabric is actually touching me. Kind of impressive to watch actually. It doesn’t help that I am not hourglass shaped, I am not apple shaped, I am big fat ol‘ pear shaped. That’s right I have hips and simple little B cup top.

I’d really like to have a talk with all those dress designers who seem to have it in their brains that all women are hourglass, hate to break it to you but we’re not. There is nothing more evil than those dresses that are fitted for the hips (you know 90% of them) when your hips fall three inches too high and your waist is lost somewhere in the bust.

So I did try on my dress and all that (though I did order it a size bigger than what I tried on), I’m still a bit worried the new one won’t fit either. It’s kind of an inane worry. I’ve been trying to get into some sort of shape (it’s showing as I can play the super evil Green Grass & High Tides on drums for Rock Band without passing out) but I still have an innate fear that I cannot fit into my dress.

There’s just too much emphasis put on a dress that just used to be a girls finest but thanks to Queen Victoria now is expected to be not only white but insanely fancy and you’re to spend bags on money on. Why must the wedding industry put so much emphasis on something just to drive you insane? I really think the used car industry could learn a thing or two from them.

Well here’s hoping I don’t turn into a blindly glibbing mess tomorrow as my good friend and I head off to the shop to try on our dresses. I know she’ll look hot because she looks hot in anything. (It’s quite amazing, we used to go around the mall looking for the ugliest outfits in the bargain bin and she could make it work). As for me, well I’ll try to not look too much like pagliacci. Wish me lots of luck, and hope I don’t flip out and take a ring bearers pillow hostage.

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Can you build it?

Um, well we’re gonna try anyway.

My MOH and I are nuts. There is just no denying that fact. For her wedding we decided to make all her mints using almond bark and adding food dye. Bad idea. Turns out that makes the melted almond bark turn all chunky so we had to add tons of oil to fix it.

Then there was the time we were making hobbit costumes and she thought that to make the feet we should just get some spray insulation foam, spray that onto our shoes and then shape it. In then end our hands were covered in sticky goo we couldn’t get off and I had a big glob in my hair. (In the end we just stuffed and spray painted some toe socks)

Now we’ve decided to try and take on making my groom’s cake (or his groom’s cake, someones groom cake). My fiance has said that what he really wants is a Chicago style hot dog, what with him being from Chicago and loving food and all.

If you’ve never seen one they put everything short of mayo and sardines on these things. So we’ve sat down and tried to figure out all the stuff to make this hot dog work.

  • Hot dog – use red velvet cake and then try shaping with and covering with fondant
  • Bun – rice krispie treats (thank you Ace of Cakes)
  • Poppy seeds on the bun – chocolate chips
  • Onions – coconut (which I hate but he can’t eat onions anymore so it might go on the side)
  • Tomatoes – chop up some cherries
  • Pickle Relish – a fruit salad with kiwi, apples, melons, and some green syrupy thing
  • Cucumber – cookie that we frost to look green
  • Pickle spear – possibly a banana we dye green
  • Hot peppers – no idea, maybe no one can have them

As you can see from that long list we are in way over our heads. I’ve baked some (banana bread is the best I can pull out and we all know how well that goes over) and my MOH has a cake decorating kit but I fear we’re gonna be doing a lot of test bakes and eating a whole lot of cake.

Is anyone else plotting something equally insane for their wedding or are you smartly just trusting the professionals?

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

R-E-C-Y-C-L-E, Recycle

As any good child of the 90’s knows, we were all mercilessly taught the three R’s of that little green triangle. I think I may have gotten that speech more often than the “never eat your Halloween candy before an adult checks it” and “if you touch it, it’ll fall off.” What a wonderland childhood was.

Well as the new it color is green, I figured there is probably something I should do with all those bridal magazines and planners that I have somehow acquired since getting engaged. From people giving them to me as presents, somehow getting on a mailing list and getting one free, and a small gnome that gives them out each time you pass the tree I have a pile that threatens to fall in on itself and create a black hole.

My first thought was to go back to my old Girl Scout days (where we didn’t get to go camping, build fires, or learn how to build a hatchet) and make myself a magazine christmas tree. But halfway through of folding one up I realized that I am no longer allowed to play, I mean use, spray paint without adult supervision.

So I was quite excited and happy to find out that a friend of a friend had just gotten engaged and she’d love some planning info. I stopped stuffing the magazine pages into the walls for more insulation and loaded them all into a bag to give to my friend of a friend.

Hopefully she can find a good use for them (aside from looking at pictures of dresses that only a model could wear or afford, full coverage of “we could have gotten a house” weddings, and the one kinda helpful article in each one) as for me, I’m moving onto cutting up milk cartons and turning them into biospheres for some fish.

What all are you doing with all your planning stuff once you don’t need it anymore?

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

It’s raining foliage!

If you have decided you want a flower girl, and your church will allow it, and it’s the right time of year according to the gods of etiquette then at some point you have to decide what kind of flower petals (or leaves or snow or glitter) the cute little moppets are going to cover the church in.

For me, I got myself a free sample from Petal Garden, loved the blue and shamrock options, and got 100 of each. (I never thought of getting real as you can see I am deathly afraid of flowers) There were so many they barely fit into the cute Easter baskets we got for the girls to carry, and they look really cool. Some even have “flaws” to make them look more real.

For some really cheap ones to decorate all over an option is the much used Oriental Trading. There aren’t even close to as many color options as others but if you just want white/red/pink you can’t do much better.

If you want to go the freeze dried route (much better than regular petals as they won’t stain), there are a few other options though they will cost you. (I wonder if you can get an assemble yourself flower petals where they just send you the rose and you pick them off?) Flyboy naturals has flower petals other than just roses (which is nice for those of us not that impressed with roses). Pick a petal doesn’t have as many options but is a bit cheaper.

For those who just think rose petals are over done and boring there is the fall option of throwing leaves. And if you’re getting married in June you could have your girls toss green leaves of grass clippings for that fresh grass smell.

And we can’t forget those winter brides who want a winter wonderland but with central heating. Thanks to the power of science you can easily make some insta-snow without all that iced over freezer and a knife route.

Whatever you decide to have your girl(s) drop just make sure that she follows the exact calculations for the amount of coverage you laid out in a grid design. You may want to invest in some calculus lessons for her.

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Bridal Shows=Pure Evil

My Dad (yes, my father) got it into his head that I just had to attend one of the local Bridal Shows. Something about how I could win free stuff, this without him taking into account I am anti-lucky. If anything lucky ever came into contact with me the world would explode.

But we had to humor him so me, my Mom, and my flower girl (who’s 21) trekked off to one being held in town. (I told my fiancee there was no way he had to go, because I am not that mean regardless of what some e-mails may warn you about) It was easily the biggest waste of time and money I have ever walked through.

For $9 for all of us to get in, we had to wander amongst a handful of booths not a single one of which I was interested in. There was one for dresses (David’s Bridal, natch) though I already had my dress, one for tuxes, about three for photographers, one for a DJ, one for a limo service, one for a huge pot and pan scam, and 10 that were there to make your life a living hell.

Of course every “booth” has a card you can fill out where you can register to win things. Yeah, right. I would say right now if you do have to go to one, invent a phone number and if you haven’t already create an e-mail addy just for wedding stuff make one now. It makes life so much easier when dealing with SPAM. Even though I didn’t go near a single insurance booth I have been plagued by them since I went and they will not relent (Here’s another bride who had the same problems).

If you do get dragged to one and don’t want to listen to their spiel I have some great tips. First off if they make you wear a bride sticker (my friend pretended she was a bride too to sign up for stuff, which entertained me the entire day) hide it under your jacket. It’s still on your shirt, but people are a lot less likely to bother the crap out of you.

However, if they do start babbling to you, the trick is to not look at them. I have this amazing ability where if I don’t want people to talk to me, I just look off and pretend like I’m not really there and neither are they. It keeps most solicitors far away and they move on to whoever is behind me. Sadly, anymore they seem to move onto my guy if I’m with him so we got to work on a signal (He’s terrible at saying no.)

Hopefully with these tips you will be better prepared for the scam of a bridal show, where you learn nothing, win nothing, and just help pay all the vendors for some free advertising.

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Planning two weddings

The deeper and deeper the Kraken of a wedding planning industry pulls me in the more I notice the cracks.

One of the big problems that even I, a very decisive (to a scary point) person, is fighting is the trend to go ahead and purchase something then while you wait and plan you suddenly decide that it isn’t the perfect dress/colors/menu/flowers for your Big Day!

The worst offender seems to be the Dress! After all it isn’t just a dress, it’s THE DRESS! The dress you can only wear once (unless you want to recycle it), the dress everyone will see you in, the dress people will remember you in forever until you die!

I can’t really blame people, when you are told to buy your dress a good 6 months before your wedding and along the way you get inundated with nothing but pictures of dresses. If you have already gotten your dress don’t just avoid run, run away from any bridal magazines. There’s maybe one good article in the end anyway and a good 90% is pictures of the “perfect gown.”

It seems like a really insidious plan really, that way you have women buying two dresses and then they have to sell one off. (Here’s one woman’s plight to try to change her dress) You just have to peruse eBay to find tons of people selling wedding gowns and it seems like a lot of it isn’t from a canceled wedding.

Though the dress isn’t the only option, people seem prone to changing the decor, the location, the invitations, and sometimes even the colors long after things have been purchased and are currently gathering dust.

I say, no more! No more worrying that you don’t have the right centerpiece for Your Perfect Day! No more fretting that people will scoff at you for not getting a horse and carriage! No more having people make you think this is the last day of your life! (Personally I am hoping the Best Day of My Life involves less satin and lace and more sun, water, and dogs.)

For me, anytime a little worry enters into my brain that maybe I did go too cheap for our RSVP’s, or that our Halloween reception is just dumb I remind myself that in the end none of it really matters anyway.

That and I am having enough troubles planning one wedding, I refuse to plan two.

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Who’s your favorite muppet?

It was a long and unexpected kinda weekend. My Dad was having his 50th birthday party and as my MOH lives near him I thought I’d drop by and hang out with her for a few hours before going to the party. (Her son is adorable, and after watching him I think I need to have a challenge where people eat an ice cream cone without their hands).

We figured we’d just head back home after the party (a nice two hour drive) but alas God was against that idea. About 30 miles out of town we had a tire blow. It was the first for either of us but there really weren’t any screaming matches, no one freaked out, and in the end we got it all fixed up and left on Sunday.

It did get me thinking about all those marriage questionnaires they make out there for people to take. The Catholic one, FOCCUS, is well known and feared. If not only for the fact that a priest could call off your marriage if you fail but also for the length. I hear they recommend an 18 month engagement just so you have time to finish it.

Though if anyone has to go in for some pre-marriage counseling there is a damn good chance you will have to pull out your number two pencil, answer random questions about your life, your likes, and what’s your ideal birthday party (really). I remember taking those tests as a kid and as you get older you realize that there is no one right answer.

For example, Who drives the car?

  • You
  • Him
  • Well it depends on if we’re going somewhere we’ve always been or if it’s somewhere new

Somehow I doubt that last one is in there. No questionnaire should really determine if someone should get married or not. (Or you could just take a quick quiz to see how long you should wait to have kids in case it all falls apart.) I’m sorry, but a piece of paper with a few random bubbles filled in (and a doodle of a tree, I take tests fast and then get bored) has no idea how we spend our nights, if we fight like cats and then make up as such, or if neither of us is really romantic and would rather both get vacuums for presents.

There’s nothing wrong with some counseling before (especially as we have no idea what to do with planning the ceremony and really need some help there) but having the pastor/priest/minister/hobo on the street rely on a test where if you really want to you can cheat using the cap method makes no sense.

No one is the same, and some of us really couldn’t give a crap what kind of birthday party we have (or if the pinata matches the petting zoo).

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Bridesmaid bootcamp

I have created a wonderful program to whip your girls into shape and get them ready for the best day of your life!

Welcome to Bridesmaid BootCamp!

The first week is spent getting them into the right mind set. We limit their food to just mind numbing gruel and water. This will bend their minds so that no matter how ugly of a dress you choose for them, they’ll gladly pony up $300 and even think that it makes them look gorgeous. (For an extra day we can also convince them that those 4 inch stilettos with the huge bows and rhinestones they have to pay for are a dream come true.)

But you don’t just want your girls to stand up there, looking like fashion gone mad with a chainsaw, you also need them to donate weeks of their lives to helping you pull off the “Day to End all Days!”

Every bridesmaid must be efficient at filling out, addressing, and mailing your invitations. For 12 hours we’ll set them up in an empty room with just a table, a chair, water, and your pile of invitations that absolutely have to go out in a day. For some extra money we’ll also include our etiquette expert Rosco, to make sure that everything is spelled correctly and addressed just so.

For those brides trying to save some money, everyone needs some help with making favors/flowers/centerpieces and we can help there too. Most brides want to be there to make sure their girls are doing everything just right and perfect and we have a perfect solution. With a two-way mirror you can make sure that every ribbon is tied correctly and every flower petal is in the right place thanks to a horrible screech button. Every time a girl messes up just press the button and they will have a screech sound played over the loud speakers until they fix their mistake.

After all this work we know you feel like your girls deserve some thanks (even if we all know you deserved it for being THE BRIDE!) so this program also comes with their own thank you gifts – A coupon book for their city (highlights a $10 oil change), a pen with a flower on it (attached with scotch tape), some earrings just for that big day (will self destruct after 24 hours), and a thank you card that’s had your name printed onto it.

Together, Bridesmaid BootCamp and you calling up your girls 12 hours a day we can give you the Perfect Day of Your Life.

Posted by: blablover5 | May 22, 2008

Give me one of those

It’s been beautiful out here for the past few days so on top of me wanting to spend every available second outside before it starts to overheat and boil ants alive on the sidewalk, a job interview, and my guy getting a nasty cold, wedding stuff has been the furthest from my mind until I saw someones trying to spread a nice rumor about Bed Bath and Beyond going bankrupt.

First off, it’s not real, it’s a big fat lie.

Second off, doesn’t it just suck that there are so many pitfalls with wedding stuff. I thought registries were invented to make it all easier for everyone?

Like everyone else we thought first oh we’ll just do Target and then maybe somewhere else a bit nicer to humour the fancier side of the family (not mine at all). Then after going through and a few days of debating the quality of towels, how well a knife would hold up, and if we really could wait for someone to get us Lego Indiana Jones or if we’ll get it long before October, I hunt around and find out about the horrors of the Return Policy at Target.

Some of it seems to depend on the Target you go to. My friends all claim to have had no problems, but as the economy gets worse I am begging to wonder if they’ll make it common at all stores to exchange returned merchandise with game store tokens (You can get a free 50 games of Pac-Man!).

We debated a bit back and forth, should we dump Target and put it all onto Bed, Bath and Beyond though there is one no where near my family, take our chances on Target, or try a new one at J.C. Penny. In the end we did a bit of all three.

I have heard through the grape vine that Bed, Bath & Beyond (though between my fiance and I we now call Best Buy, I easily get BB names messed up) has the best return policy, and with J.C. Penny you get a really nice organizational book (including some stuff to scrapbook with), it really comes down to what is best for you and what you’d want.

In the end we kept most of the stuff at Target, moved the things like appliances we really only want one of to BBB, and um gave up on J.C. Penny’s after looking at the prices (we did try Sears but when the entire computer system was down and no one cared we gave up).

If we get a lot of doubles I suppose there’s still eBay. Anyone need 10 bread makers?

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